Poetry By Jessica Suliman

Each day upon awaking I must prepare for battle

I hear the snake hissing as he slithers and he rattles

There is a bad seed planted in the darkest corners of my mind

A past that is most haunting and it is trailing close behind

I am my own worst enemy and my thoughts are a disease

The only way to fix this is by getting on my knees

Asking God to help me the moment I arise

Because my disease will try to kill me when I open up my eyes

I have to fight against myself and it’s a battle I could lose

But there is a better way of life but it’s hard sometimes to choose

Everything inside of me wants to run away

But there is a part of me that knows I need to stay

I can’t outrun myself and there is no escape

And when I don’t know where to go there are 12 steps I can take

My brain says I can’t do this and no one believes in me

That I should just call it quits and live in misery

My brain says no one loves me or cares if I live or die

But my heart says don’t believe it and God tells me that’s a lie

My life is complicated and it’s so hard to explain

I don’t do well with feelings or even going though real pain

I used to pray every day for my life to just be over

Now I thank my higher power for just one more day I’m sober

I didn’t ask to be an alcoholic and my purpose is unsure

I have the disease of addiction and for that there is no cure

But there is a way for me to filter all pollution

And that is to stay connected and to focus on solutions

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